Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Top One Way to Make the Keebler Elves Angry

1. Pay with cookie dough.

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Top One Devastation in the Wake of Hurricane Katrina

1. All prints of "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" safe and accounted for.

Monday, August 29, 2005

Top One Eminem Embarrassing Moment

1. "The Bunny Hip-Hop"

Friday, August 26, 2005

Top One Sweetheart Names for Burt Reynolds and Willie Nelson

"Burt Reynolds said on the 'Tonight' show that if he'd have been gay, it would have saved him 'millions,' and he joked that Willie Nelson might have been his choice." --The Associated Press
1. Smirky and the Hairbandit

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Top One Sign the Pope Thinks Young, Fo' Shizzle My Bizzle

1. Wears hat backwards -- and hip tattoo says, "He Is the Way. WAY!"

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Top One Big Plan in "Bob the Builder: Bob's Big Plan"

1. Hammer Wendy's place.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

My Top One Desire During a Power Outage

1. Power. Especially, the urge to be King of Swaziland.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Top One Little-Known Penguin Fact

1. Penguins are not tuxedo-like. They're Fonzies.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Top One Rated Program on CNN

1. The nightly hour where Larry King looks like he's wondering when the pudding will arrive.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Top One Pair of High Tech Improvements for Next Batman Sequel

1. Batmobile installs curb feelers ... Bruce Wayne: Catwoman feelers.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Top One Memo to Morgan Freeman Fans

1. His "March of the Penguins" is not a Batman sequel.

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Top One Anagram for COKE ZERO


Monday, August 15, 2005

Top One Rude Awakening at My High School Reunion

1. No, I can't have their fish sticks.

Friday, August 12, 2005

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Top One Betty Boop's 75th Birthday Product Tie-In

1. Boop-Oops-a-Poop Adult Diapers

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Top One Astonishing Interstellar Disclosure Other Than Planet X

1. A Starbucks on every nebula.

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Top One Discovery on the New 10th Planet

1. "Entertainment Tonight's" Mary Hart can easily be heard from Hollywood without a microphone.

Monday, August 08, 2005

Top One Pair of Snarky Nicknames for a "Dukes of Hazzard" Fan

1. "Cruiser Loser" and "Charger Card."

Friday, August 05, 2005

Top One Memory as Bob Hope's Remains Moved to New Garden

1. "Thanks for the Mulch."

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Top One Change as "TV Guide" Downsizes Old Features

1. "Cheers and Jeers" to become "Chee and Jee."

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