Monday, February 27, 2006

Top One Reason Anna Nicole Smith to Be Heard by the U.S. Supreme Court

1. She's an abortion case.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Top One Reason Mutant Chickens Grow Teeth

"Scientists have discovered a mutant chicken with a full set of crocodile-like chompers. The mutant chick, called Talpid, ... died before hatching. ... Researchers recently created more Talpids by tweaking the genes of normal chickens to grow teeth." --Live Science
1. Colonel Picking Good.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Top One Hollywood Hypocrisy

"Samsung Electronics has expressed bewilderment over reports that it is being sued by the major Hollywood motion picture companies, who have claimed that one of its DVD players allowed consumers to circumvent encryption features and thereby make bootleg copies of DVDs." --IMDb
1. Why don't the movie studios sue themselves for all the bootlegged ideas they copy and copy and copy, over and over and over?

Friday, February 17, 2006

Top One Thing I've Learned During 25 Years of Marriage

On Valentine's Day, your humble writer celebrated a quarter century of wedded bliss.
1. Let me ask Donna and I'll get back to you.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Top One Chilly Event 'American Idol' Has Over the Winter Olympics

"NBC's Winter Olympics took another beating ... at the hands of Fox's 'American Idol.' The singing contest, TV's top show, drew 27 million viewers..., 11 million more than the Olympics." --"USA Today"
1. Simonized Sucking.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Top One Dick Cheney Condiments

1. A salt and pepper.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Top One Upside to Vice President Dick Cheney's Gunplay

"A 78-year-old hunting companion of Vice President Dick Cheney was recovering in stable condition Monday after Cheney accidentally shot him during a weekend quail hunting trip, a hospital official said." --AP
1. Overnight, he's America's fastest-rising hip-hop star!

Friday, February 10, 2006

Top One California Appeasement to Al-Qaeda

1. Edible burkas at Frederick's of Hollywood.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Top One Al-Qaeda California Terror Plot

1. Must See "Ishtar," Thursdays on NBC.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Top One New Idea at Disney

1. In the wake of another "The Shaggy Dog," "Bambi II," "Cinderella II," "Lilo & Stitch II," "Tarzan II," and "101 Dalmatians II":

"Young Yeller: Flubber Hound"

Monday, February 06, 2006

Top One Oxymoron / Moron

1. "Fake Paris Hilton"

News source:

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Top One Quote to Leave You Speechless

1. "Debra Jackson said she likes shopping at the Dollar Palace because it is convenient and casual. 'I don't have to get all dressed up like I'm going to Wal-Mart or something,' she said.'" --The Town Talker

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Top One Reason Britney Spears Agreed to Be on "Will & Grace"

"The pop star will appear as a Christian conservative sidekick to Sean Hayes' character, Jack, who hosts his own talk show, on the April 13 episode, [NBC] said." --AP
1. Over & exposure.

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