Top One Way to Make the Keebler Elves Angry

1. Pay with cookie dough.

Top One Devastation in the Wake of Hurricane Katrina

1. All prints of "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo" safe and accounted for.

Top One Eminem Embarrassing Moment

1. "The Bunny Hip-Hop"

Top One Sweetheart Names for Burt Reynolds and Willie Nelson

"Burt Reynolds said on the 'Tonight' show that if he'd have been gay, it would have saved him 'millions,' and he joked that Willie Nelson might have been his choice." --The Associated Press

1. Smirky and the Hairbandit

Top One Sign the Pope Thinks Young, Fo' Shizzle My Bizzle

1. Wears hat backwards -- and hip tattoo says, "He Is the Way. WAY!"

Top One Big Plan in "Bob the Builder: Bob's Big Plan"

1. Hammer Wendy's place.

My Top One Desire During a Power Outage

1. Power. Especially, the urge to be King of Swaziland.

Top One Little-Known Penguin Fact

1. Penguins are not tuxedo-like. They're Fonzies.

Top One Rated Program on CNN

1. The nightly hour where Larry King looks like he's wondering when the pudding will arrive.

Top One Pair of High Tech Improvements for Next Batman Sequel

1. Batmobile installs curb feelers ... Bruce Wayne: Catwoman feelers.

Top One Memo to Morgan Freeman Fans

1. His "March of the Penguins" is not a Batman sequel.

Top One Anagram for COKE ZERO

1. ZOO CREEK

Top One Rude Awakening at My High School Reunion

1. No, I can't have their fish sticks.

Top One Reaction to That "Because of Winn-Dixie [the Dog]" Movie

1. Stray cats named BI-LO.

Top One Betty Boop's 75th Birthday Product Tie-In

1. Boop-Oops-a-Poop Adult Diapers

Top One Astonishing Interstellar Disclosure Other Than Planet X

1. A Starbucks on every nebula.

Top One Discovery on the New 10th Planet

1. "Entertainment Tonight's" Mary Hart can easily be heard from Hollywood without a microphone.

Top One Pair of Snarky Nicknames for a "Dukes of Hazzard" Fan

1. "Cruiser Loser" and "Charger Card."

Top One Memory as Bob Hope's Remains Moved to New Garden

1. "Thanks for the Mulch."

Top One Change as "TV Guide" Downsizes Old Features

1. "Cheers and Jeers" to become "Chee and Jee."