Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Top One Sign Something Ain't Right in Hollywood

1. Bugs Bunny nibbling on Carrot Top.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Top One Paul McCartney - Stevie Wonder Sure-Fire Comeback

1. In their musical tradition of "Ebony and Ivory": "Black Cherry and Vanilla."

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Top One Sign Marlon Brando Was Bi-Sexual

"The new biography about legendary actor Marlon Brando claims ... [he] was voracious in the bedroom with both men and women." --All Headline News
1. His films: "Guys and Dolls," "The Fresh Man," "Roots," "One Eyed Jacks," "A Street Cat Named Desire," "On the Walter Front," and "The Godfather, Part Tootsie."

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Top One Reason Supermodel Kate Moss to Pen Autobiography

"LONDON (Reuters) - British supermodel Kate Moss, at the center of a scandal last year after being filmed apparently snorting cocaine, has agreed to publish her autobiography."
1. Learn how to operate a pen.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Top One Osama bin Laden Peace Offering to Infidels

Osama bin Laden's "vague offer of a truce — coupled with a threat of another attack on the U.S. — was made in an audiotape released by the Arab television network Al-Jazeera." --AP
1. Buy one truce, get one (of equal or lesser value) FREE!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Top One Osama bin Laden Terror Threat

"BEIRUT, Lebanon -- Osama bin Laden threatened ... the United States ... according to an audio tape broadcast yesterday on an Arab satellite channel." --"Newsday"
1. His next homemade video: "Brokeback Spiderhole."

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Top One Just Dessert for Wendy's Severed Finger Swindlers

"A couple who planted a severed finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili in a scheme to extort money from the fast-food chain were sentenced Wednesday to prison terms of at least nine years." --AP
1. Nine-to-12 in The Big Frosty.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Top One Name for William Shatner's Kidney Stone

"LOS ANGELES (AP) — An online casino has a piece of Capt. Kirk. Actor William Shatner has sold his kidney stone for $25,000, with the money going to a housing charity..."
1. The Trouble With Dribbles.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Top One Blonde Joke Ever

I've been around and I must say I've located The Best Blonde Joke Ever. It's so good I had to feature it on my About.com Humor site, too.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Top One Friday the 13th Fear

1. "Friday the 13th: Jason vs. Bounty, the Quicker Picker-Upper"

Thursday, January 12, 2006

Top One Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Pregnancy Plan

"Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are expecting a baby, possibly in May, a spokeswoman for Pitt has confirmed. ... Pitt was known to have filed papers to become the adoptive father of Jolie's two adopted children...." --"Herald Sun"
1. Adopt their own fetus.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Top One Opening Line When a Cop Pulls You Over

1. ''You cannot call yourself a geisha until you can stop a man with a single look.'' --"Memoirs of a Geisha"

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Top One Fashion Mr. Blackwell Wears to Slap Down Worst Dressed Women

The in-sultan of style goes for broke, back mounting hisses and disses on Britney Spears, Mary-Kate Olsen, Eva Langoria, and other celebrities in his 46th Annual Worst Dressed Women list, posted at E!
1. Brickbat Mittens

Monday, January 09, 2006

Top One Real Life Itchy and Scratchy Moment

1. "FORT SUMNER, N.M. — A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the man's house and set it on fire." --AP

Friday, January 06, 2006

Top One Reason a Woman Married a Dolphin

"In a modest ceremony at Dolphin Reef in the southern Israeli port of Eilat, [Sharon] Tendler, a 41-year-old British citizen, apparently became the world's first person to 'marry' a dolphin." --MSNBC
1. Comes with built-in bidet.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Top One Cause of the California Floods

1. Barbra Streisand's boo-hoo this, boo-hoo that tears

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Top One Amazing Fact About the Cat That Phoned 911 to Save His Master's Life

1. Wrong number. The cat phoned Domino's to savor a herring pie.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape
Copyright © 2005-2009 Mike Durrett. All rights reserved.
Legal Disclaimer: I kid.
TheTopOneList.com simulcasts on TopOneList.com.
Contact: mikedurrett.com, mike at
The Top One List is typed in front of a long nap.

Powered by Blogger