1. Bugs Bunny nibbling on Carrot Top.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Monday, January 30, 2006
Top One Paul McCartney - Stevie Wonder Sure-Fire Comeback
1. In their musical tradition of "Ebony and Ivory": "Black Cherry and Vanilla."
Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, Coca-Cola, one-liners, Mike Durrett, Stevie Wonder, Paul McCartney
Thursday, January 26, 2006
Top One Sign Marlon Brando Was Bi-Sexual
"The new biography about legendary actor Marlon Brando claims ... [he] was voracious in the bedroom with both men and women." --All Headline News
1. His films: "Guys and Dolls," "The Fresh Man," "Roots," "One Eyed Jacks," "A Street Cat Named Desire," "On the Walter Front," and "The Godfather, Part Tootsie."Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, Marlon Brando, one-liners, Mike Durrett, movies, sex
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Top One Reason Supermodel Kate Moss to Pen Autobiography
"LONDON (Reuters) - British supermodel Kate Moss, at the center of a scandal last year after being filmed apparently snorting cocaine, has agreed to publish her autobiography."
1. Learn how to operate a pen.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Top One Osama bin Laden Peace Offering to Infidels
Osama bin Laden's "vague offer of a truce — coupled with a threat of another attack on the U.S. — was made in an audiotape released by the Arab television network Al-Jazeera." --AP
1. Buy one truce, get one (of equal or lesser value) FREE!Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, Osama bin Laden, one-liners, Mike Durrett, Usama bin Laden, terrorism
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Top One Osama bin Laden Terror Threat
"BEIRUT, Lebanon -- Osama bin Laden threatened ... the United States ... according to an audio tape broadcast yesterday on an Arab satellite channel." --"Newsday"
1. His next homemade video: "Brokeback Spiderhole."Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, terrorism, one-liners, Mike Durrett, Usama bin Laden, Osama bin Laden
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Top One Just Dessert for Wendy's Severed Finger Swindlers
"A couple who planted a severed finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili in a scheme to extort money from the fast-food chain were sentenced Wednesday to prison terms of at least nine years." --AP
1. Nine-to-12 in The Big Frosty.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Top One Name for William Shatner's Kidney Stone
"LOS ANGELES (AP) — An online casino has a piece of Capt. Kirk. Actor William Shatner has sold his kidney stone for $25,000, with the money going to a housing charity..."
1. The Trouble With Dribbles. Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, William Shatner, one-liners, Mike Durrett, random, kidney
Monday, January 16, 2006
Top One Blonde Joke Ever
I've been around and I must say I've located The Best Blonde Joke Ever. It's so good I had to feature it on my About.com Humor site, too.
Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, blondes, one-liners, Mike Durrett, The Best Blonde Joke Ever, whatever
Friday, January 13, 2006
Top One Friday the 13th Fear
1. "Friday the 13th: Jason vs. Bounty, the Quicker Picker-Upper"
Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, stuff, one-liners, Mike Durrett, Friday the 13th, fears
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Top One Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Pregnancy Plan
"Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are expecting a baby, possibly in May, a spokeswoman for Pitt has confirmed. ... Pitt was known to have filed papers to become the adoptive father of Jolie's two adopted children...." --"Herald Sun"
1. Adopt their own fetus.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Top One Opening Line When a Cop Pulls You Over
1. ''You cannot call yourself a geisha until you can stop a man with a single look.'' --"Memoirs of a Geisha"
Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, cops, one-liners, Mike Durrett, Memoirs of a Geisha, whatever
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Top One Fashion Mr. Blackwell Wears to Slap Down Worst Dressed Women
The in-sultan of style goes for broke, back mounting hisses and disses on Britney Spears, Mary-Kate Olsen, Eva Langoria, and other celebrities in his 46th Annual Worst Dressed Women list, posted at E!
1. Brickbat MittensFiled under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, Mr. Blackwell, one-liners, Mike Durrett, fashion, worst
Monday, January 09, 2006
Top One Real Life Itchy and Scratchy Moment
1. "FORT SUMNER, N.M. — A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the man's house and set it on fire." --AP
Friday, January 06, 2006
Top One Reason a Woman Married a Dolphin
"In a modest ceremony at Dolphin Reef in the southern Israeli port of Eilat, [Sharon] Tendler, a 41-year-old British citizen, apparently became the world's first person to 'marry' a dolphin." --MSNBC
1. Comes with built-in bidet.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Top One Cause of the California Floods
1. Barbra Streisand's boo-hoo this, boo-hoo that tears
Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, floods, one-liners, Mike Durrett, California, whatever
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Top One Amazing Fact About the Cat That Phoned 911 to Save His Master's Life
1. Wrong number. The cat phoned Domino's to savor a herring pie.
Monday, January 02, 2006
Top One Thought on the Minds of the First Baby Boomers Turning 60
1. "What am I going to be when I grow up?"
Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, baby boomers, one-liners, Mike Durrett, random, thoughts
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