Top One Sign You're Not Exciting

1. Your Personal Pan Pizza is a raisin muffin.

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, food, jokes, comedy, stuff, one-liners, Mike Durrett, excitement, whatever

Top One Sign You're Dull

1. Your heart murmer is on Kenny G's iPod.

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, dull, jokes, comedy, stuff, one-liners, Mike Durrett, random, Kenny G

Top One Rejected Coffee Based on an Elvis Presley Movie

The Elvis Presley name is being used to market new beverages. --AP

1. Stay Away Joe ("Stay Away, Joe")

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, Elvis Presley, jokes, comedy, coffee, one-liners, Mike Durrett, movies, food

Top One Coffee Based on an Elvis Presley Movie

Specialty coffees bearing the Elvis Presley name are going on sale. --AP

1. Foam in Cappuccino ("Fun in Acapulco")

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, Elvis Presley, jokes, comedy, coffee, one-liners, Mike Durrett, movies, food

Top One Sure-Fire Elvis Presley Coffee

"Elvis Presley Enterprises green-lighted four limited-edition holiday coffees ... called Santa Baby, Blue Christmas, Love Me Tender and Silent Night, which is the decaf version." --AP

1. Latte Tender

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, Elvis Presley, jokes, comedy, stuff, one-liners, Mike Durrett, coffee, whatever

Top One Reason Michael Jackson Visits a Ladies Room

"The pop star's publicist said Jackson ... did not understand the Arabic sign on the door [in the United Arab Emirates] and left the bathroom as soon as he realized his mistake. ... But local newspapers reported that the 47-year-old performer did not quickly leave the bathroom and was spotted applying makeup...." --IndyStar.com

1. Peter Pantyhose

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, Michael Jackson, jokes, comedy, stuff, one-liners, Mike Durrett, random, ladies

Top One Reason Jennifer Aniston Named GQ's "Man of the Year"

1. Pitty

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, Jennifer Aniston, jokes, comedy, stuff, one-liners, Mike Durrett, GQ, Man of the Year

Top One Worry When Your Butt Is Glued to a Toilet Seat

A company "was sued by a shopper from a Colorado store who claims he got stuck to a restroom toilet seat because a prankster had smeared it with glue." --AP

1. Will I make the paper?

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, toilet, jokes, comedy, stuff, one-liners, Mike Durrett, random, whatever

Top One Rejected Name for the Litter-Robot

1. "South Park" Kenny

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, litter-robot, jokes, comedy, cats, one-liners, Mike Durrett, South Park, cat litter

Top One Name for the Litter-Robot

1. R2DooDoo

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, litter-robot, jokes, comedy, cats, one-liners, Mike Durrett, r2d2, cat litter

Top One Thing Girls Should Know About Boycut Denim Jeans

Old Navy Boycut Denim 

1. Uh, lose the sock.

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, denim, jokes, comedy, jeans, one-liners, Mike Durrett, boycut, girls

Top One Moment of Silence on the U.S. Marine Corps' 230th Birthday

1. Jim Nabors jumping out of the cake.

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, Marines, one-liners, Mike Durrett, Jim Nabors, whatever

Top One Headline Prediction

1. "Paris Hilton Bombed"

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, predictions, one-liners, Mike Durrett, headlines, Paris Hilton

Top One Cheerleaders Sex Frill

"Two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders were arrested ... after a fight in a Tampa, Fla., bar that broke out when patrons complained that the cheerleaders were having sex in a bathroom stall." --"Seattle Post-Intelligencer"

1. Palm-palms.

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, sex scandal, jokes, comedy, cheerleaders, one-liners, Mike Durrett, random, Carolina Panthers

Top One Definition of TV's "Sweeps Week"

1. The seven-day process of arranging Donald Trump's combover.

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, hair, one-liners, Mike Durrett, Donald Trump, Sweeps Week

Top One All-New, Never-Before-Seen Sylvester Stallone Movie Franchise

"Sylvester Stallone will reprise his role as gun-toting John Rambo in the upcoming 'Rambo IV.' ... Stallone also intends to bring boxer Rocky Balboa out of retirement ... [for] 'Rocky Balboa,' the sixth film in that franchise." --Associated Press

1. "Rocky vs. Rambo"

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, stuff, one-liners, Mike Durrett, movies, Sylvester Stallone

Top One New "Rambo: First Blood" Sequel Title

Sylvester "Stallone, 59, will bring back the gun-toting Vietnam veteran for the fourth movie in the series. Ben Nedivi, of co-producers Millennium Films, said it will recapture the rawness of 'First Blood,' which launched the franchise 23 years ago." --BBC News

1. "Rambo: First Geritol: 'For Iron-Poor Tired Blood'"

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, Sylvester Stallone, one-liners, Mike Durrett, Rambo, movies

Top One Concern About Florida's Python Infestation

"Pet Burmese pythons have been dumped illegally in Florida's Everglades National Park. ... Now hundreds of the constrictors — which reach upwards of 19 feet (6 meters) and 200 pounds (91 kilograms) — are breeding and expanding their range in Florida wetlands." --"National Geographic" 

1. The snake charmers in flight school.

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, stuff, one-liners, Mike Durrett, pythons, Florida

Top One Way to Stop Popping Pimples

1. Pack face in bubble wrap.

Filed under: lists, humor, humour, fun, funny, jokes, comedy, stuff, one-liners, Mike Durrett, acne, tips