Top One Startling Fact About the Biggest-Known Snake in the World

1. Believed to be 42' 6", beating previous record holder, Bernie Madoff, by 37'-something.

Top One Response to Ted Turner's Claim We'll All Be Cannibals

"Failure to address global warming will have us all dead or eating each other by mid-century. So says Ted Turner, the restaurateur, environmentalist and former media mogul..." --"The Atlanta Journal-Constitution"

1. Bite me.

Top One Sign You Had a Baby at McDonald's

1. The Godfather is The Hamburglar.

Top One Sign You're Having a Baby at McDonald's

1. Your demeanor and your midwife: Grimace.

"A baby was born in a McDonald’s restroom in Vancouver, Wash, and the mother didn’t even know she was pregnant. It was the evening shift last Friday at the fast-food restaurant when employee Danille Miller suddenly felt ill and ran for the bathroom....” --via Neatorama